I was very flattered and somewhat surprised to be asked to submit a bio into one of those ‘Eligible Bachelor’ sights. I have met a few Eligible Bachelors before and some of them were just so Eligible that to be placed in the same league as them was a real day brightener. I was asked… Read More The Ineligible Bachelor
Part 1: An Enquiry Alan Watts the philosopher and spiritualist said that there can be no happiness without some sort of skill, but Benny Mellors, being the superior thinker, came to the conclusion that the best thing that can happen to a man, where happiness is concerned, is to be on the receiving end of… Read More The Wonderful and Healthy Mind of Benny Mellors: A Study in Joy
I was called into the bank today for a review of my account. I hate banks. Of those odd little moments when I actually do have money inside a bank I get it out of there as soon as possible so as to not have anything to do with these places of evil. I soon… Read More Death by Scottish Widows: My Adventure from Inside a Bank
“Alas and alas! You may take it how you will, but the services of no single individual are indispensable” Robert Louis-Stevenson Benny Mellors had been abstaining from asparagus in the hopes that he would walk away from this date with at least a blow job. In fact he had been harvesting his semen with fresh pineapple… Read More Benny Mellors and the Blind Date
In the last two weeks I have had the very lucky, very rare opportunity to work in two of the most beautiful cities in Europe. And because I have spent this blog writing about “oh woe is me I am a broke actor” bullshit, I thought it only fair to write about the good stuff… Read More The Platoon
Everyone will get to a stage in their life where they ask the question “how do I not die of starvation?” For some people, the clever ones, this dilemma is solved by getting an actual job. See what happens here is they get the job, get paid and they use that money to buy the… Read More The Unreliable Recipe of Survival. Delivered To You By the Infantile Cowboy of Fortune.
There are two things I could write about. I could write how I met one of my heroes of the theatre, how he inspired me, the stories he had to tell, the little anecdotes, and how I was all fired up and ready to take on the world afterwards. I could write about that, and… Read More Shitty Thoughts